Friday, March 2, 2012

Master Cleanse Day 1

So I just went back to look at my previous post from forever ago and I notice a running theme: I'M HUNGRY! I'm very glad I read those thoughts and feelings because I'm about to begin something that will test me in a big, bad way.
I once read a book called "The In-between Boyfriend's book." It was a humor novel about singlehood. I thought it would, I don't know, make me feel better about a recent breakup by dissecting my actions and giving me practical advice. Well it didn't have any advice but it DID have distracting stories and funny anecdotes I often refer to, even now. For example, most breakups happen in October because once Halloween starts the slur of Holidays through Easter, there's no getting out of your relationship so if you see candy starting to line the shelves of your grocery store, brace yourself, you might get dumped soon. Or how men/fathers express their love to you by asking "how's the car?" One chapter of this book was the author's musings during a cleanse/fast she decided to do. When I read that she'd be drinking nothing but a concoction of water, lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper I thought WHHHHAAAATTTT??? Is she nuts?
While I was out Way Disciple, I got to know my teammate Laura and now she's one of my dearest, dearest friends. Even miles away, we are still great friends, supportive of eachothers' lives and all that mushy stuff. She told me one day about how she was really big into fasting one summer and did a number of fasts and cleanses (why she did a few of them over the course of a few short months, I do not know). See, she's a dietetics major so she had my attention. The basic premise of fasting is that when you eat, your body spends a lot of energy on digestion. When you don't eat, your body has all this surplus energy so it cleans itself out. COOL!
And ever since she explained it to me, I always wanted to do a juice fast or something like it. Actually I tried a 24 hour nothing but water fast and it SUCKED. I wanted to break it around hour 18 and I vomited. I was fine the next day though.
THEN a couple days after I moved up here to Syracuse, the people I lived with started a cleanse. They were using filtered water, maple syrup, lemon juice and cayenne. RING A BELL? I witnessed them go for a handful of days with no food. They were on the weak/dizzy side and running off to the bath room in the middle of a sentence every so often. I hate talking about...solid I didn't ask them many questions.
But after they came off it, they felt and looked amazing! They had healthy looking skin and felt great! Since then, I've always wanted to do it myself but never head the opportunity come up. I knew I needed to find a week where not much was required of me. I now have a pretty low-demanding job physically (and mentally) but I also teach dance. So since this week is New York State's winter break, I am taking this danceless week to rid my body of toxins. TAH DAH!
I've been planning on this for a few weeks. I've been reading up and getting ready and working on ceasing my snack habit. If you read my previous post, you'll see that I got it bad. I *think* I lost 5 pounds in January. I've been working out and doing my best to resist the office spread of donuts, cookies, baked goods and other unhealthy things that come through our door. I think I'm doing a good job.
Now. I told Garrison, my boyfriend that I will be doing this cleanse. Last week he said "Well I was thinking about this. I have two options while you're cleansing. I can either fend for myself in the kitchen [meaning he'll be eating probably nothing but pb&j sandwiches and microwaved quesadillas for dinner] or do the cleanse with you." I was surprised! This is a guy who likes his FOOD. I grant you he's not Mr. Steak and Potatoes every night but he's also the guy who when he is hungry he tells me about it. Sometimes kinda whines "Me so hungry!" He got really sad when I asked him kindly if he'd refrain from keeping ice cream in his freezer (for my sake).
So if you're still reading this, thanks, congrats and WHY?
Anyhow. Since he decided to do this with me, it means we're doing this together. Well. Duh. But my point is that he now has a say in what happens. Sheesh. Last night I came back to his place after work and I started washing and putting away the dishes (since we won't be needing them for a few days) and pulling the leftover lasagna from the fridge since it's the last perishable food item in there (I'm frugal and I hate wasting food) he said "I was thinking...tonight is going to be me last meal for a few days..."
"Uh huh?"
"And I was thinking what I'd really like for my last meal."
I knew what was coming. I put the lasagna in the freezer and we went to Quaker Steak and Lube. Of course. He loves that place. We had Greek Nachos (SO YUMMY!) as an appetizer. I had two "Jacked up Root Beer Floats" that were AMAZING and, well, full of vodka, and my main course was boneless BREADED wings with magna fries. WHY WHY WHY did I agree to this! There's nothing sexy and tasty at Quaker that isn't god awfully fattening. Eh. I'm not eating for 4 days so it'll even out right?
Well yeah, but I was hoping a modest meal would set me ahead even more!
Anyhow, this brings me to this morning when I didn't have to take the first step of the cleanse (a saline laxative) to experience some bathroom time :(
Aw darn it, there was supposed to be a more clear switching from the narrative leading up to the cleanse to the blogging about the cleanse while it's actually happening.
Too bad.
Now it's about 8am and I'm getting some hunger pangs. I haven't had any lemonade yet but I figure I'd wait till the boyfriend pulls himself out of bed. All I've drank so far is water. I'll keep it that way for a while. In the meantime, I'm gonna watch The Bachelor on Hulu.

No comments:

Post a Comment